‘From this day forth, you, Julius Sky, will live in the human world, unarmed and free to live an eternity with no responsibility.’
Ah. Why was he remembering this now? An eternity with no responsibility, huh? What lies. His superiors were really good at that, he supposed. Such a nice yet sudden feeling to his forehead. So cold against his overheated body, yet it made him feel a little better as it shocked his body back to consciousness. His entire body felt sore, but not numb enough to not feel Cain’s gentle touch. His eyelids felt heavy but he knew he had to open them to allow the demon a peace of mind. Ceiling? When did he become horizontal, parallel to the floor? His eyes lazily moved down meeting the demon’s frantic ones. He was crushed into a hug as a small moan escaped his throat. “I’m… so tired…” Julius breathlessly said, his mind threatening to go back to unconsciousness.
‘…in the human world… an eternity…’ his superior’s words waltzed back into his brain, vexing him.
He rejoiced when Julius opened his eyes, allowing him relief. He lightly scooped the naked man into a hug, a soft groan coming from him as he tried to speak. Cain lightly pulled away and frowned. He gingerly placed a hand on his cheek. It was not as if he had suffered a concussion, so saying to stay awake would not be logical. And it would be best if he slept, but he would have felt better if he forced the other to keep himself away from sleep.
“Sleep as much as you need.” he whispered, grabbing a towel and wrapping him in it as he gathered him in his arms and carted him off to the bed, sitting down with him and drying his wet body off. Despite his wishes to be selfish, he knew he should not. As far as he could tell, it looked like a fever, probably from the fighting and heat of the bath. So he knew he should let him sleep and get well. But who had ever heard of a reaper receiving a fever? Did they even get sick? He was not sure, that was not something he had heard of, but then, it could be possible. His knowledge of reapers were just as much as the knowledge of reapers had on demons. Pretty much nothing but basics.
Cain kissing him softly on his warm forehead. “I am yours for ever and eternity, I will take care of you.”
Julius allowed himself to be carried away in the demon’s arms and tried hard to even his breathing. His body was shivering even with the countless blankets Cain could find and place on him. His face burnt with every hot breath escaping his lips. A fever? How could this possibly be? Reapers never got sick, it was never heard of. Something was off, and Julius knew the answer somehow. He knew what was happening to him, but he denied it. There was no way the rumours about his master were true. No way in hell was Julius actually turning into a human. He had to find out himself… Somehow…
Julius forced his achy body to sluggishly sit up as he swung his legs around the bed, and stood up, ignoring the protesting demon.
“Pain…pain… pain…” Julius whispered the single word multiple times, mindlessly. He needed to feel pain. That was the only way he thought of at the moment as his mind was completely high off of the fever. Reapers definitely felt pain, but their human like senses of touch were completely numbed, so pain and pleasure were things they weren’t given the opportunity to feel very much. Strength was also another thing he had to look into. What he was about to do was perfect then.
His vision was blurry, but he decided to blame that on the evaporation still hovering about the bathroom as he walked in and stared into the foggy mirror. If he was still a reaper this mirror will be gone along with the wall behind it. Did he dare? Hell yes he did. Julius raised his arm, and with all the strength he could gather he punched the glass. The cracking noises his hand made were completely nauseating and the pain which came second after drew a raspy screech from his throat. It was as if everything around him slowed down as the bones in his wrist collided with the ones in his hand. Blood came rushing out of his hand, covering the barely shattered mirror. He’d put all his strength in that punch, yet the mirror and the wall were still there. His bones were probably more shattered than the mirror was. The pain was something completely intolerable too. He tried to understand the human race all his life, and even thought he did, as he stupidly pretended to be one of them, but he never truly understood until that moment of pain and regret.
Julius fell to his knees, hugging his hand in excruciating pain. His cries must’ve seemed over exaggerated to Cain, and Julius felt stupid and weak for showing the demon such expressions, but it was the first time he’d felt such pain in his life. He’d been sliced with swords, and stabbed so many times in his seemingly never ending life, but it was never this painful, yet all he’d done was punch a mirror. Julius curled into a ball on the bathroom floor, hiding his ashamed face in his knees, his entire body shaking. That was it. His life was over right there and then. He was completely useless now. To everyone. He wasn’t able to protect the demon as he’d promised himself. He’d probably never find his master without his reaper senses. His superiors would never take him back now. He didn’t know how to live as just an ordinary human being. All he truly knew how to do was read and create trouble for his lover. He was useless. Worthless. Julius finally noticed the demon’s hands touching him, and his face heated in unknown and unintentional anger. He turned and slapped the demon’s hand away. No… why was he taking his anger out on Cain again? What was Julius doing? –Dammit it all… I hate this!- Julius thought as he glared into the demon’s concerned eyes.
“Don’t touch me!!” He screamed with all his might as he stumbled to his feet and ran out of the bathroom. He tripped over his own feet, and ironically landed on his injured hand. Crying out in pain once more, Julius quickly stood up with as much will as his abused body could allow. Without looking back, he ran for the stairs of the attic leading downstairs and made his way out of the house. He ran. That was all he could think of doing. Running. Somewhere, anywhere and nowhere, he just wanted to get away. Get away from the world, from everything.
As he made his way into the forest outside the borders of the house he ran from, Julius was finally hit with a wave of exhaustion, his vision and body failing him with every step. Julius gasped for air as if it was being taken away from him. He could feel his heartbeat throbbing in his ear and it was annoying the hell out of him. He tiredly leaned against a tree and slid to the ground, clutching his chest with his functional hand. As he looked down at his broken and bleeding hand, he noticed that he’d ran away while still completely naked. Julius grit his teeth and huffed in anger.
“Tch, what the hell am I doing…?” He leaned his head back against the tree behind him and closed his eyes, carelessly drifting into a nightmare filled unconsciousness.
Cain tried to block him, suggesting he go back to bed immediately, a worried look cast over his expression. He followed Cain, speaking to him insistently as the other paced around, mumbling the single disturbing and troubling word under his heavy breath. “Please, lay back down.” He begged as he trailed behind the other, slowing when Julius returned to the bathroom. Would he try to shut him out? Bar himself in the bathroom and refuse Cain’s pleas? He did not know as he walked into the door way, only just in time to see Julius reel his arm back and take a sloppy shot at the glass. Shattering his steamy reflection in many tiny fractures, but that sound was not the sound that caught in Cain’s chest.
He felt his skin prickle, his shoulder raising a bit in a cringe as he heard the sudden screech- what the hell was wrong with him! Cain rushed over to him as he crumpled to the ground, crimson dripping over the ground and large bits of mirror clattering down to the wood, reflecting Cain’s worried face and Julius’s pained one. His disagreement with the other being up was ignored up until the moment his pale skin touched Julius’s, his cool hand only brushing over the other’s hot and flushed arm. Like a raging fire, Julius screamed in his face and was up off the floor in an instant, suddenly charging off. His breath caught in his chest and his heart tightened like piano strings ready to break against the strain.
Cain slowly retracting his hand, fingers curling lightly into his palm as he sat there on his knees. Somewhere in his heart, he realized… this was his fault. He had caused this, this disdain the other seemed to show for him in the split moment. Those cold, angry eyes that glared back at him and his anguished cries. Cain did not move from the spot as he heard the other rampage out of the hideout, slowly releasing the aching breath from his dry felt lips. His head slowly tilted down to the large fragments of glass littering the ground before him, short hair falling in front of his eyes, overwhelming with tears. He delicately picked up one of the sharp fragments, staring back at his sullen expression, staring at the scar that marred his features.
He felt the feeling roll up from his stomach, the urge to buckle over and sob, but instead a strangled laugh escaped his throat. “What a sad demon I must be!” His laughs produced from the bathroom until they fell into pitiful sobs. His body shuddered as he imagined just what he had provoked… what he had caused -what he alone had done to this one life he cared for. This one, single soul… Julius… His life was much more precious than his own. A lowly demon, with nothing to live for but to serve. But what good was it to serve someone who was better off without him… And what good was it to go on living without anyone to serve?
Cain’s fingers clenched around the large sliver of glass, the broken edges slicing into the inside of his digits. In his mind, the words repeated over and over. Julius was better off without him. Without a lowly demon. Without a demon whom’s existence only seemed to seek Julius’s pain. Better off… without…. Him… Cain clenched his teeth, chilled, salty streams of water trickling down his cheeks. His heart felt weak, like it was slowly giving out life upon his reflection. What meaning did his heart have, if all it did was cause pain?
He lifted his chin an inch, strands of purple shifting back from his wet cheek as he settled the warm tip of the foggy reflection to the tender nape of his neck. The pulse of his weary heart slowly living under the jagged piece of triangular glass. Cain closed his eyes and pressed the piece of glass into his neck, the dark liquid of his blood spilling down his skin and speckling over his hand. He felt his breath give way, if his life was meaningless other than to harm, he may as well settle it all. The blood pooled under him, tracing over the wood in an unnatural way as he sank into his knees. A shadow spilled from between the cracks of the wood, raising up. The bathroom chilled over like ice, bits of frost freezing over the glass and over the floors.
“Father…” Cain muttered, dropping the bloody piece of glass. _____________________________________________________________________________________
Cain slowly emerged from the shadows, black wisps falling from his bloody beaten body, his pants, which he must have found at some point after Julius’s leave, were riddled with cuts and burns. His chest heaved in and out as he breathed heavily from his lips, his bare feet uneasy on the cool grass. In his one hand was his cracked mask, bloodied and marred, and a small bag. The dark blades of grass fell victim to a dark substance, weighing down as the dense liquid rolled off their chutes. Cain came up to Julius, grabbing his wrist with his bloody hand and pulling the overly warmed man up with much trouble. There was no staying here…
He half dragged Julius, the other’s arm over his shoulders as he trudged through the dark trees. At the very least, he had to leave Julius somewhere safe… The city was a very… unappealing option now. Something had went wrong, that much was obvious. Hours seemed to drag on, the moon slowly passing overhead. He could not calculate how much time had passed when he finally came to a familiar dark opening. Only that it was still dark when he got there.
Cain grunted and panted as he forced his legs to continue to work, pulling Julius into the chill cavern, passing over a scorched area and finding an old skin of fur. He set Julius down on it, staring down at him as the light of the moon cast a shallow light over him from the entrance of the cave. Cain grasped at his chest grimacing. The agony, he could not describe other than as familiar. Sh-t… He had to get going. He set the bag down next to Julius, but he knew he could not just leave him like this. He strained his strength to walk out into the woods, prying off branches off trees and breaking them, stripping them of their leaves and returning to the cave. A dark flame settled deep under the branches he set in the small pit, slowly turning into a brighter flicker as the fire crackled and warmed.
He came back to Julius, staring down at the restless man. He kneeled down, opening the bag, moving the piece of paper out of the way, smearing traces of blood on it’s wrinkled and rushed form. He found the clothes and took an excruciating amount of time dressing the other in a light set of clothes, grabbing the blanket and drawing it over the other. His heart ached tremendously… but what choice did he have… he had made his decision… Cain ran his thumb over the letter briefly before setting it on top of the bag where it was visible. He leaned down and pressed his cold lips to Julius’s burning forehead before forcing himself up to his staggering feat and passing the fire, excusing himself from the cavern.
His bare feet dragged across the cool grass, his shoulders sagged low and his arms settled heavily at his sides. He lifted his chin up, tears overwhelming his eyes as he dragged his bloody, ragged body as far as he could, which he believed was rather far. But in truth, he had not gone far at all before he finally collapsed, the vision of the dark treetops and the stars swirling in his vision as his knee gave out, the pressure on his heel turning him over as he hit the ground with his shoulder.
"Julius, I have truely fallen for you. I feel as if I have loved you forever. However, lately, I have not been feeling very well. I am exhausted from these angry rituals between us. And I realized something- something that I have not been able to shake. Ever since I was banished from hell, I have spent my entire life on earth with ghosts.
It seems like we have been like close enemies, and all we do is bicker and fight. For your sake, I wish nothing more than to finally finish all of this. I am sorry, so very sorry. But I cannot do that with you by my side. So I must go. No matter how many times I thought otherwise, I cannot help but feel as if it is better this way. I am afraid I may hurt you more than I have already. I have to go. I have no idea where I am going, but I know I have to do this.
Please know that I tried very hard for your sake. And that you mean more to me than you may ever know... and I will miss you dearly, for our momentary life together made me feel as if, for some time, I had a place in this life. A true home with you. I will always love you, never doubt that. Goodbye.
-Forever your servant, Cain”
The letter written in a rush with his own dark blood that darkened like ink, the drops of his own blood smeared over the body of the letter, and smudges skirmished the back from his recent touch. Cain’s eyes stared up at the stars that blurred over as he recalled his last words to the vile creature that was his father as he near murdered him and fled for his life.
‘Yes I love him. I love him more than anything else in this world and there is nothing that I would like better than to hold on to him forever. But I know it's not for the best. So no matter how much my heart is going to break, I've got to let him go so he can know just how much I love him. Maybe if I'm lucky, he'll come back, but if not, I must make it through this. But know that I will never let you harm him, even if my own life may cease at your hands. For my heart will always be in his hands, and you can never change that.’
His life may cease even now, as he laid there contemplating his mistake of falling for yet another forbidden lover. Loving was a cruel joke… he should have learned the first time it was nothing but a curse. Yet even now his heart ached for his love, only yards away from him. However, he was compelled to repel him, to protect him from something he should never greet. Never in his life… should he face the ghosts that Cain carried with him, that he had failed to put the rest at his own accordance.
Last Edit: Aug 1, 2012 14:50:40 GMT -5 by Geinkotsu
A certain chill to Julius’ skin brought him back to reality, but his body was too weak and abused to realize his surroundings. All he knew was that he was alive, and was being moved. He didn’t care at that point. It could’ve been a bear, taking him in as his dinner for all he knew, or curious humans taking him as hostage. No, he didn’t care. He just wanted to drown in his tears, and hope that everything that happened was just one long dream. But that would mean that meeting Cain was part of that dream. That would mean that his love and suffering was all meaningless. No, he didn’t want that. He wanted to go back and apologize to Cain. He’d done nothing wrong in particular, and unintentionally stripping him of his life wasn’t his fault. It was Julius’ fault, and he knew it. If he’d only obeyed orders and not gotten Cain involved in his mess, he wouldn’t be in the forest, naked and weak to begin with. It was all his fault, and he was going to slap himself awake for it. Just… a few more minutes. Handling a fever for the first time in his life… it wasn’t easy.
Julius groaned, kicking off whatever the hell was making him burn within himself. He was overheating, and it wasn’t pleasant. His body ached, and his fingers were numb. It took some effort to get his heavy eyelids to open. He took a few seconds to look around, his eyes adjusting to the flickering light which he soon after realized was fire. Fire… Fire…? He stared at the crackling flames in awe, is if he’d never seen such a thing before, even though he had. “I don’t remember... making that…” the words came out slow, and slurred as he rubbed his temple, finally noticing the clothes that hugged his overheated body, and the blanket that was now at his feet. “What in the hell…?” Julius sat up slowly, things finally coming back to him.
He ran away, and ended up sleeping under a tree, naked, so how did all this even happen? “C-Cain…” Sudden realization hit him, as he quickly looked from left to right, searching for said man. No sign of him. He allowed his body to fall back down on what seemed to be animal fur as he sighed in exhaustion. “Why didn’t he just take me back to the mansion?” he whispered to himself, turning his head to its side. A piece of paper, on top of a bag, held in place by a small rock was inches away from his face. He frowned, studying it, before flicking the rock off and sitting up to read its content. It was written in blood, and the hand writing was sloppy. It seemed almost rushed, as if whoever wrote it didn’t know if they should. Julius frowned, sighed, and began.
His lips parted. Breathing became a chore as he hyperventilated, and it was painful. His eyes moved quicker than they should have as they scanned through the words. His mind tried hard to focus as it screamed at him to get up and run. To find the idiot. But his body wouldn’t obey. It wouldn’t move. His arm became limp as the letter slipped from his hand. In that moment, it felt like those few days he spent with the demon were years, and those memories played in his head, as if taunting him. His body was paralyzed and all he could do was cry silently. Sobs couldn’t even be formed, as tears freely and infinitely poured out of his stinging eyes. It was shock out of happiness and torturous pain at the same time. He didn’t know how to even describe how he felt. He didn’t even understand it. He didn’t even know if he wanted to.
Cain had finally said he loved him. He was waiting for it for so long. Hoping, everyday that he’d woken up to the demons beautiful face inches from his that he would hear those words.
No… Cain didn’t say those words… He wrote them. Julius finally snapped back. Anger overwhelming his body and allowing it movement again. He knew he should’ve been more worried about the fact that Cain said he wanted to leave him. That he couldn’t be by his side again, rather than those three words he desperately wanted to hear out of the idiot’s mouth.
“Like hell I’d allow you permission to leave you Fudgeing idiot…” Julius grunted his way up to his feet, staggering a little. He grabbed the letter, grumbled it, and shoved it in his pocket and began through the forest. He was going to go back to the mansion and slap Cain around a few times, while doing the same to himself.
What the hell were they both thinking anyway? Like Fudgeing hell he would actually allow being human stop him from loving Cain. Like hell he’d allow Cain to leave him! He didn’t get a damned unwanted tattoo engraved onto his chest by the Fudgeer so he could just leave him whenever he felt like it. He didn’t know what the hell he was going on about ghosts and what not, but that could be left for later to be explained. All he wanted to do at the moment was find Cain. He wanted to find him and beat him up. He wanted to hold him in his arms, and kiss him until they both couldn’t breathe. He wanted to feel his soft skin on his own, and show him how sorry he was. How much he loved him. And he was going to do all that no matter what.
Julius made his way back to the mansion somehow. He looked back at the forest confused for a moment. How did he even remember his way back? He wasn’t even in the same place he fell asleep in, as Cain had left him in a cavern. He shook his head, dismissing the thought as he cautiously entered the mansion and ran to the attic.
As he opened the small door to the attic, he grinned widely, “Cain, I-“ his words stopped short as there was no sign of Cain. He frowned, making his way to the Kitchen, “Cain?” Nothing. He grit his teeth. No, he had to be here… He had to be… He rushed through the attic, searching everywhere, even underneath the bed and in the closet, as if Cain could fit. He wasn’t there. Where the hell could be then? His body twitched in sudden realization as he frantically took the letter out of his pocket and re-read it.
“’ I have to go. I have no idea where I'm going, but I know I have to do-‘ dammit, what the hell is that supposed to mean you idiot!” He shoved the letter back into his pants as he ran out of the attic and mansion, entering the forest with screams of his lovers name, so loud it woke birds from their slumber as they rushed to relocate. He looked everywhere, searching and searching. He finally stopped in his tracks to think. When he looked in the bathroom, there was a tremendous amount of blood on the floor, and considering he wrote the letter with his own blood, meant he was probably in bad shape. He couldn’t have possibly gotten that far. He needed to go back to the cavern and look through that area.
Sure enough, the idiot left a trail of blood, and as the blood became thicker, Cain’s body was spotted a meter away. Julius screamed Cain’s name as he rushed to his side. He knees hit the ground hard as he dumped himself beside Cain’s frozen body. The man could probably be mistaken for a dead body, his skin almost turning blue, and not a twitch in sight, only his chest, raising and colliding down with effort. Julius held his tears as they threatened to come out. He had to be strong, even if seeing his lover in such a state made his heart clench in pain. His eyes scanned his lover’s beaten body, as he hugged him cautiously. “What happened…? Cain… I’m so sorry…” He fought his tears back again. Julius turned around and struggled to get Cain on his back. He was heavier than he thought, but that could probably be due to his sudden loss of strength since he was human now. Minutes later they ended up back in the cavern. He placed Cain on the fur and ran back into the forest to find water. He had to get the man’s wounds cleaned and bandaged before he lost too much blood.
He bit his lip until it bled. He couldn’t hold back anymore, as the tears betrayed him, showing how weak he was. His lover was lying there, beneath him, struggling to stay alive, as Julius bandaged him. “You’re going to wake up…” Julius began between sobs, “And I’m going to wait until you are better to beat the living hell out of you. We’re going to leave everything behind, and get out of this damned place. I don’t give a Fudge where, but we’re going to travel around, get some odd jobs and live off of whatever we can. We’re going to forget all this bull and we’re going to live together in a crappy place. Hell we can sleep on the ground for all it’s worth. But we’re going to do all of this together. Always together, and nothing will stand in our way” the words came out in a rush. He rubbed at his eyes to clear his vision from the stinging tears as he glared down at his unconscious lover, “Do you hear me you idiot?!” Julius yelled at Cain, “We’re going to be together, and fight together, and love each other! We’re going to keep on walking no matter what!” His body gave out on him as he placed his head on his lover’s chest and poured all the liquid out of his eyes onto the demon’s bloody shirt. His sobs could probably be heard from miles away, “I don’t even care about anything else anymore… I just want to be with you… Please… Cain, wake up… Cain…”
This sensation… he could not recall as he laid there awkwardly, straining to focus his blurry sights to the twinkling lights above. His limbs felt heavy and numb, he felt so empty, his mind only recalling Julius. His angry expressions, oh how he cried so hard whenever he hurt him. So easily did he hurt him… So many tears because of him. Cain closed his eyes, feeling immensely tired for the first time in so very, very long. This feeling… He felt as if he could not stand but give in now.
‘Is this… the way it ends?’ he thought. Was this how it felt to die, he wondered… was he dying? It was so hard to tell. Cain let his nose nestle into the grass, the smell of his metallic blood washing away from his senses, letting the feel of the grass brushing against his chilled skin lull him away from consciousness. It had to be for the best… this was how it was meant to be, he supposed. It felt a struggle of lapsing wake and dark sleep, fingers curling tighter around the mask that lay in the grass next to him, digits looped into the eye hole.
The cries of his name did not jar him, laying motionless in the patchy grass. He could not recall the inquiry of Julius, or his weight shoving him over, or the feeling of the bloody mask slipping from his limp hand as he was dragged away. All he could remember was those fragments of reality, fighting on his own for someone he only seemed to harm again and again, standing against the one thing he truly feared. What could have ever been found within him, he did not know…
Sifting through darkness, he heard something. He could not reckon what as he laid there motionless under Julius, the man’s sobs rifting over the silence of the fire and echoing through the cave. He could not seem to recognize it, as he listened almost dully. However, he realized the pain, settling through the numbness. Burning. Searing through his flesh, eating away. A sharp breath flowed through his lips at this first pain, the sounds becoming unbearably loud as his lashes barely lifted, trying to take in the sounds and torturous burning. The latter was not coming along elegantly at all.
Crying? Who the hell was crying? Why? He lifted his lashes more, regaining some form of consciousness, but with it came a price of relentless agony. Cain clutched at the furs, a shuddering gasp trembling in through his lips with each breath, which felt painfully heavy. His lips felt dry, stained with blood, which was not only his. He suddenly arose, forcing himself up into a sitting position as he grasped at his chest, fingers digging into the bandages, starting to soak with blood. F-ck! He couldn’t think strait, this Fudgeing pain. God he hated this pain.
“Stop…. Make it stop!” he breathed, digging his nails into the bandages, ripping holes into them. He did not cease there, clawing at the bandages, ripping them apart and tearing them away. The wound there was vile and angry looking, the venomous dark purple staining his blood. His dug his dark nails into his skin, raking them over the wound, only creating more gashes against them. This desperate attempt, violent and insane. What sort of pain would drive anyone to inflict more pain in some sort of way to ease it? His company had not caught his eye, the horrid pain finally driving him nuts.
His hand snatched out, grabbing Julius by the front of his shirt, fingers twisting deep into the cloth as he leaned forward as if he was going to hurl, head dipping down as blood ran through his fingers and over the shredded cloth, torn and loosely looped around his torso.
Julius’ sobs slowly quieted, his consciousness slipping away from him slowly before the sudden anxious voice of his lover sounded out. Julius lifted his head up in an instant and grabbed hold of Cain’s hand out of instinct, trying to pry it away from his wounds. “Calm down! Cain!” He yelled into the man’s face, but he could tell that the man couldn’t even hear him. His eyes looked distant as he sat up and desperately grabbed onto his shirt, making unpleasant noises.
Julius sighed as he rubbed the man’s back in an attempt to comfort him before hugging him and gently stroking his hair. “It’s alright” his voice was only a soothing whisper, trying to calm his shaken lover. “It’s okay Cain, everything is going to be okay. I’m here Cain” He tilted his head to kiss the demon’s forehead softly, “I love you Cain. I’m not going anywhere. It’s going to be okay” he repeated the words multiple times. Julius reached around the shivering demon and placed his hand on his chest, attempting to stop the bleeding without alarming him. He continued to stroke his head as he cautiously lay him down, their bodies still touching. He was going to reassure Cain that he wasn’t alone with the warmth of his own body as he awkwardly tried to re-bandage the demon’s wound.
His words did not reach him quite so, his fingers clenched deep into the other’s shirt, so much so it was almost painful upon his knuckles to keep holding onto so desperately. His shoulders rose and fell quickly as he tried to breathe, fingernails etched into his skin in some form to ease the wicked onslaught that writhed like hot coils through his wound. His face lightly leaned in against the other’s shoulder as his arms wrapped around him, fingers gingerly working through his unruly, short hair and hand caressing his back. Trembles shook his body, cold breath quivering over the other’s neck like an icy gust of wind.
Cain seemed unwilling to move from his half hunch over position, a sharp breath taking to his lungs as Julius’s hand pressed against his wound, nails clenching deeper into the rigged, dark gash and shoulders scrunching up. But it seemed with his lover’s warm words stringing into his ears had calmed him some. His hand left his torn wound as he was slowly turned over, laying horizontally once more into the furs, but this time on his side. His bloody hand searched for the warmth cradling into him, wrapping around the other’s shoulders and clutching to the collar of what used to be a clean shirt.
His dark colored lashes hovered over his lilac eyes, which seemed to have lost some of their luster, the usual vibrant color almost lightened to a dull gray. It was almost as if he was staring blankly at the brink of death. His wet nails scrapped over the nape of Julius’s neck, curling his cold, clammy body closer to him. It was almost unbelievable, to see a demon in such pain. Had one ever seen a demon in such a sad and wrecked state?
“…. Ju…Julius….” he muttered, perhaps regaining some sense and realizing he was there. Or possibly yearning for him in his aching mind and not even knowing he was there next to him. It didn’t seem he was moving or taking any effort to respond, so the latter seemed the most plausible.
Julius' hands froze at the other's movements and his eyes followed the hand that reached for him. It was hovering for a second before Julius leaned over a little until the hand found its purpose. Julius shivered at the cold fingers that touched him and brought his own hand up to cover the shivering one.
His eyes watered as the demon called out his name weakly. What could have happened to him in the short time of his unconsciousness? How could someone as strong as Cain suffer like this? He couldn't even imagine such a thing; but here he was, lying in his own blood.
Julius wanted to scream, call out for help, but he knew no one could hear him, and even if they did, they could only bring trouble seeing Cain's unstable state. He could feel his partner slipping away from him, and it was suffocating. His face was heated to the point where it was getting hard to see, and his chest tightened uncomfortably.
Tears once again flowed down his cheeks, his face losing all expression. He was too tired to feel. Breathing became a chore as he tiredly lay next to his lover, holding him tightly.
He didn't know what more he could do. He felt useless. He couldn't help the only family he’d ever had, as he pushed back the thoughts that kept haunting him.
"I'm... here" The words were whispered through disjointed breaths as he began to hyperventilate, “I’m here… for you… Cain” His quivering lips touched the man’s forehead softly, “I love you…” he bite his lower lip and closed his eyes, allowing the wind to take them away, as all he could hear were his own distressed sounds.
Was this death… he could only think. This is what it felt like to die… Overcome by such pain and darkness that his mind did not seem to understand. And these overwhelming feel of sorrow that washed over him like waves, ever present. If this was not death, then he could not understand such torture if it could not be so. It was like a empty nightmare, lucid and hard to focus the gray lines out of the pitch black. All he could reminisce about in this darkness was Julius… oh Julius… all the things he had done wrong by him. All the things he could not undo… and that he expected not to see him again. If he ever did, all he could expect was anger, the same anger that had been shown to him in the attic. He could never get that look out of the other’s eyes out of his mind… such fire and hatred towards him.
His vision of darkness seemed as if it was transparent and ever lasting, until a dim, orange light seemed to filter like a blurred sun kissed drop into his eyes. He felt… stiff. As if his body had been packed in ice for years. His dark purple lashes raising some as he laid there. A sound, a very soft crackling every now and again echoed through his mind. His eyes opened a little wider, the blurred vision clearing enough to see the dim fire pit, dying as the last red coals tried to cling to their heat. Wisps of orange fleeting over the blackened wood and ashes. All he could see was orange… filtering like an abyss of pastel paints across the sky from the opening of the cavern.
Cain’s fingers moved stiffly, feeling cloth just under them, curled under his digits. Finally his breath came, as if he had not breathed in ages, a wave of fresh air suddenly filling his lungs. And it was so sweet that his eyes began to water, the pain blistering in his chest from the sweet sweeping taste of morning dew raising his ribcage and expanding his wound. Rotten used air fell from his parted, cracked lips in a fog of cold air that rushed from his pale lips like smoke. He felt… chill. Yet a blistering warmth seemed to clutch onto him. He noticed his hand felt cramped and his fingers slowly pried open, like a rusty part that had been closed for too long. His joins felt so… achy… yet so numb.
If this was death, then it had to be trickery. Such a false sky painted into his vision and such crisp air… but another scent seemed to linger to him. And the water in his eyes spilt free… Julius… He yearned for him, and could only believe his mind was playing tricks as he reminisced on that sweet, sweet scent. Of course, he could not remember last night… It was like a distant voice he never quite heard. Sometime during the night he had definitely stopped breathing, his heart had come to such a slow crawl that if you pressed your ear against his chest, it would sound like it’s final lone attempts to keep his emptied veins moving. Each beat slow and sluggish and overworked.
His lashes lowered once more. He was tired. He had never felt so tired in his life… As if all the energy had been drained from him, yet somehow rushed back to him like the breath of another passing through his cold lips. Cain moved his arm, but it felt like lead and did not shift very much from it’s original position. Only now did he realize that someone was next to him as he laid there half on his back in an almost awkward position. He turned his heavy head, trying to get a look at this provider of warmth. It was hard to see, his vision blurred and dark orange shadows cast over the other’s features.
Eerie feelings. Constant chills. Unknown colors painting his mind. Suddenly shadows flew and cut through his vision as he flinched awake. When did he fall asleep? He felt so tired. So slow. The man touched his heated and wet forehead with the pads of his fingers, unsure of his own existence as awareness slowly came back to him. Julius sighed into his hands and mustered up all his strength into looking to his right to the cold man who lied next to him. Motionless. Completely immobilized.
Julius stared at the unmoving figure. It was all he did for increasing minutes. He just looked down at the first being to ever love him truly, with no thoughts going through his mind. He just stared for hell knows how long.
Julius’ eyes began to water as he forgot to blink. He took a long suffocatingly cold breath in and stood up stiffly. “I’m going to go get us some food Cain. I won’t take long.” He began towards the forest without waiting for a reply.
When he came back with a shirt full of berries, he stopped at the entrance of the cavern and watched the frozen body for a few seconds before walking towards it. He lay the fruit down near the man’s head and stood up again. “I’ll go sneak into the mansion and get some matches… It’s getting cold right?” A small chuckle escaped his throat as he spoke knowing he’d never receive a reply. “I’ll come back” He promised as he left.
It became a routine. Waking up. Watching the unmoving man. Bringing food and water. Making fire.
Five days seemed like an eternity, and even though throughout those five days he’d constantly spoken to the man and slept near him, he never once touched him. He knew why. He knew his denial but somehow he couldn’t feel anything.
“You’re not eating Cain. You’re losing weight” Julius’ deadpan face lay on the floor inches away from Cain’s body as he watched him carefully. “I didn’t know demons could go on without eating for six days..” His own voice sounded foreign to him.
A sudden wave of energy passed through his arm as it lifted numbly and moved the strands of violet hair away from the cold man’s face, finally touching him. “I never knew you had purple lashes…” he spoke sluggishly, “I should have paid more attention…” Tears began to slowly roll down his face as he caressed Cain’s frozen discoloured cheek. Julius sighed as he inched closer to the man and touched his ear to Cain’s chest. As if his heart was taken away, the sound that put him to sleep as his lullaby was missing. Julius chuckled, his tears never ending, “How am I supposed to sleep now?”
Another day washed away as Julius sat up, realizing that he actually did go to sleep; somehow. He rubbed his swollen eyes and took a deep breath in. “Day seven” He whispered calmly. Of all things to keep track of… He sighed as he prepared himself mentally for his daily routine. He turned his head slowly as his heart sank suddenly, his legs forcing themselves to move quickly as he unknowingly flinched back so suddenly his head hit the wall of rocks behind him. Pain struck through and he realized he was holding his breath as he touched the back of his head first then moved it down to his racing heart.
The man that was unmoving for so long now watched him with a dull expression. He didn’t blink for the longest time that Julius thought he was imagining things, but then as his expression changed to something of discomfort, Julius sank back down to the floor and watched the man without a word. He couldn’t comprehend what was going on, and all he could do was stare.
Cain’s hand slipped from the other’s rumpled shirt, falling helplessly to the furs as he stared out at the other. His lashes slowly fell closed for a few long moments, brows etching together before opening once more, scanning the other. He was… familiar. But he was now pressed up against the wall, as if cowering away from the weak demon from fear that he had awaken. However, as the sun rose, and his vision cleared, he could see the man quite clearly. His heart jumped almost painfully in his chest, his eyes widening. Julius! …could it really be?
His fingers crawled forward, reaching for him before his shoulder shifted and he hopelessly tried to get up, rolling over and pushing himself up to his hands. “J-ju…lius…” he croaked, throat dry and mouth felt as if filled with cotton. But moving was more of a strain than he could have imagined, his body throbbed and his small attempt to get up was in vain as he collapsed back to the furs, strands of purple hair falling in his face, hand outstretched for the man sitting beyond his reach.
“J-Julius.” he called out more clearly. Desperately. Breathing now suddenly felt like a burden, unlike it’s pleasant gift at first. The organ in his chest thrumming violently, so much so that it felt like it may burst. Please… Let this not be a cruel joke. Please let this be real. Please… for his sake. Let this not be a hallucination or some cruel trick of death. The thought churned his empty stomach as if there was something left in it to manipulate his queasiness. His nails curving into the stone hopelessly and his already watery eyes overflowing ever more.
“for…g-give… me…” he breathed painfully, sorrowful face half smothered in the furs, his voice muffled. His lashes lowered a little, tired eyes staring up at Julius.
Last Edit: Jun 22, 2012 1:44:29 GMT -5 by Geinkotsu
Life was a cruel thing, and dreams to him were something new and even crueller. They started out as strange shapes of every color then turned to scenes, unknown to his own consciousness. They bothered him since his curiosity always took over, but he never would have thought dreams could be like this… It felt so vivid. He didn’t know how to wake up but he needed to do it now.
Julius’ eyes widened at the choked sound that came out of the man and flinched when his arm moved up, reaching for him. He shook his head slowly, eyes watering once more, as he covered his ears. “No…” He flinched again as gravity pulled down the weak man from his attempt at standing up. “You’re dead…” his words were painful to his own muffled ears as he whispered them. “You shouldn’t…” he sniffled and shook his head again, “You shouldn’t be fu-cking moving!” he screamed, his hands moving from his ears. “You’re dead!” He stood up and began walking unsteadily towards the man watching him with saddened eyes.
His hands were shaking and his tears wouldn’t stop. He could hear his own heart pounding in his ear, giving him a headache. His eyes felt dry despite the tears. His knees gave out on him as he reached his partner’s body. His shivering hand slowly reached for the man’s face, wanting to touch him. As quickly as his fingers brushed the man’s face they flinched back from the warmth. It was like electricity went through his fingers. For an entire week all he could feel was the suffocating cold, but this warmth was there. It was real. He was breathing.
Julius watched the man’s eyes in horror, his body shaking beyond control as it flopped next to the feverish man, losing all feeling. “You were dead…” he whispered between sobs as he forced his numb body to move closer as he buried his face into the tired man’s chest. A chuckle echoed through the cavern as his sobbing increased. “It’s back…” he managed to choke out. He could finally hear the lullaby he’d been longing for.
At that moment he didn’t care whether or not he was dreaming. All he wanted to do was cling to his lover and cry forever as he soaked the demon’s shirt with his tears.
Shouldn’t be… moving? Cain’s dry lips pressed together, looking up at him sorrowfully. Dead… did he… did Julius want him dead? His sluggish brain couldn’t understand… He couldn’t understand the other’s reaction, or if this truly was real. If so… where had Julius found him? Where was he? However so, Julius slowly stumbled up to him, falling to his knees just before him. His unsteady hand reaching for his face, but the moment they touched his skin, they jerked away as if he had touched a hot frying pan.
When the other finally came down completely to his level, Cain sluggishly turned so he was no longer face down on the furs. While he did not enjoy the weight of the other’s head on his aching chest, he did nothing to move him away, if anything, encouraging him to come closer as he brought his arms around the shaking man, fingers lightly digging into the familiar clothing. His scent filling up his senses as he brought his cheek against the top of the other’s head. He was crying… And the sound was so painfully rememberal. He knew this sound so well that is hurt to hear it again, the man’s tears wetting his messily bandaged and clothed chest.
“I… t-though… I was…” he whispered under his breath. He wasn’t sure if he knew what had been going on, his mind still trying to boot itself back up. The last thing he thought he remembered was seeing the stars above him… The cool grass against his skin and the searing trails of blood burning his cold flesh. Certainly he should be dead. He had to be dead... for he had never felt anything like that before... nothing like this. It was foreign and definitely unwanted. He had never felt so terrible in his entire damned life. Never! ________________________________ ________________________________
It was a couple of days before Cain could get up from those damndable furs. The durration of that time was spent in alot of silence and with a ton of cuddling and sleeping. There wasn't much to say when you were busy sleeping in the arms of the person you loved most. Julius had been more than helpful, building up the fire each night and providing food- and practically shoving it down Cain's throat even if he was or wasn't hungry when a meal called. His appetite honestly wasn't superior, but that didn't deter Julius in forcing him to eat something.
It was the afternoon and he finally couldn't stand laying or sitting any more. He was never one to find himself lazying around for long, and it was becoming unbearable. He forced himself to his knees, even if he might not have the approval from Julius, and stood up, hand at his aching chest. The older bandages stuck to his skin unpleasently, and damn did he need a shower... A hot shower sounded so damn lovely. Of course, there was little they could do about a shower. Not yet anyways.
Of course, over the few days, Cain had been collecting his mind bit by bit. As if the fragments had scattered all over in his head and he was yet to pick them all up. But he was just about finished remembering everything he could remember. And remembering the night Julius had run out on him, made a shiver run down his spine. He would rather not recolect what had happened, if he could anyways.
He found the waterskin and lightly sipped at it, easing the rasp in his throat that still had yet to go away. Being technically dead for almost seven days, it had this weird stick in the back of your throat. Like a dry thorn you had to try and drown with water. That, however, was the least of his worries right about now... He was more worried about what to do... He had intended to leave that night. But now.... now he could not bear it to leave. He realized when he woke up that morning he longed for Julius more than he could have possibly known.
Last Edit: Jun 22, 2012 2:51:33 GMT -5 by Geinkotsu
Wake up. Run off quickly to the forest before Cain wakes up. Grab whatever food he could find. Bring it back. Start a fire. Wake up Cain.
He would repeat this routine in his head every morning when he woke up. Not much had changed when Cain was-…. Julius shook his head. He couldn’t say it. The only thing that was different was the warmth and the short conversations here and there. They more like arguments though as Cain pointlessly denied nourishment.
Julius didn’t mind this routine as much as the one before it. He’d wake up every morning, his senses at full force as he would turn his head slowly, as if scared that he was only dreaming and watches the sleeping man. A sigh of relief would then leave his dry lips as he moves to the next thing on the list. When he comes back he’d then once again check on Cain. Touching his forehead gently and petting his hair. He’d curse himself every day for the length of it. He loved Cain’s hair. And even though it was shorter now, it was still something he wanted to touch forever. It seemed that after every chore he’d quickly turn to his sleeping partner and check whether or not he was breathing. It became a habit, and it somewhat bothered him.
Julius sat at the corner of the cavern, across from Cain, as he watched him silently. The minute the man grunted and tried to stand, Julius was at his side in an instant, helping him. “You shouldn’t get up Cain…” His name felt heavy on his tongue; as if feeling guilt. “You need rest…” He was hesitant when he spoke. Even though the two would sleep attached to each other at night, Julius would always keep his distance whenever they were awake. He didn’t understand why, but he felt as if he wasn’t supposed to touch him.